As men, we're taught, no matter what, to keep our mouths shut and find a way. Inherent in the message? Nobody cares. For me, six-plus decades of this explain Mr. Thorogood's stanza, "You know when I'm alone, I prefer to drink by myself." My dad was a surgeon in Vietnam, two tours. He came down a 130 ramp wearing a red ball cap with the acronym "FIDO" across it. As a young kid I asked what it meant? He said, "Fuck it, Drive on." Hard times, even harder man. No one has all the answers but one thing I've learned from life is to never let your storm get your kids wet. Gut says you've got a hundred reasons you could've but didn't. And that in itself is a huge win.
I know you well enough my Brother that none of this comes easy but it is what must be done. You know well enough the legacy I too am building as the days are numbered and the scars and wounds never heal. They just stack on top of the last one. What is left behind can ether be a burden or a blessing to the recipient if not accounted for. But a legacy lives for generations. For that is what you are building for your daughter.
We work through pain and labor as if it’s a key component of our survival, it’s in the blood, not ment for others to notice, care to cherish, or to spill… but raging as it flows from one generation to the next.
"In the selfish strife of factions, two great existences have been blotted out of the history of England, the Monarch and the Multitude; as the power of the Crown has diminished, the privileges of the People have disappeared; till at length the sceptre has become a pageant and its subject has degenerated into a serf." Benjamin Disraeli, the novel Sybil, 1845
Your not alone in this fight. The poison pill ex, the completely biased "family" court system, the failed education system, and a society that doesn't really give two shits about your years of service...now that you survived it. Gym, nature, patience, persistence, and perseverance....that's what we've got. You're not alone in this fight!
Why in the world do you feel compelled to leave ANYTHING to a daughter just because she is your daughter?
She has made her own way.
She has made her choices.
Give it to someone deserving! There are brilliant dedicated humans flailing ariund out there in a mire of systems that would not just be grateful, they might be brilliant, they might benefut from your further wusdom, nay, your tutelage! Move on.
Create your last segment as one spreading your thoughtful methods, your accumulated knowledge. Find the hungry minds. I promise promise promise you...there are so many who could change the world with their intense creativity and desire but have no resources, no family, no mentor.
You could be close, but only in the sense that we all know people need to earn respect. I had friends who suffered their entire 18years at home. Terrible terrible things that those who are supposed to protect you from such things were committing. I watched childhood friends morph into unrecognizable young adults you could not be . I have 40years of adult friends who destroyed their own lives/marriage/job/home bailing out their "children";out of jail out of financial duress out of abusive relationships giving giving giving "well its my kid".
Since I worked for everything I have, put myself thru college, then bought land and built my own house as a single female alone with no living family, I just don't get it. Its not a relationship--there is no respect,no joy, not even any fellowship. But feels compelled to give her everything that he worked for and everything that means something to him. Aaack. Painful.
As men, we're taught, no matter what, to keep our mouths shut and find a way. Inherent in the message? Nobody cares. For me, six-plus decades of this explain Mr. Thorogood's stanza, "You know when I'm alone, I prefer to drink by myself." My dad was a surgeon in Vietnam, two tours. He came down a 130 ramp wearing a red ball cap with the acronym "FIDO" across it. As a young kid I asked what it meant? He said, "Fuck it, Drive on." Hard times, even harder man. No one has all the answers but one thing I've learned from life is to never let your storm get your kids wet. Gut says you've got a hundred reasons you could've but didn't. And that in itself is a huge win.
I know you well enough my Brother that none of this comes easy but it is what must be done. You know well enough the legacy I too am building as the days are numbered and the scars and wounds never heal. They just stack on top of the last one. What is left behind can ether be a burden or a blessing to the recipient if not accounted for. But a legacy lives for generations. For that is what you are building for your daughter.
We work through pain and labor as if it’s a key component of our survival, it’s in the blood, not ment for others to notice, care to cherish, or to spill… but raging as it flows from one generation to the next.
What a wonderful gift .
I pray she appreciates it sooner rather than later.
I saved cards from my dad.
Nothing poetic.
Just
Dear Bird
Love dad.
It’s precious for me.
I miss him.
That’s so lovely 🥰
(off topic: thought you might appreciate)
"In the selfish strife of factions, two great existences have been blotted out of the history of England, the Monarch and the Multitude; as the power of the Crown has diminished, the privileges of the People have disappeared; till at length the sceptre has become a pageant and its subject has degenerated into a serf." Benjamin Disraeli, the novel Sybil, 1845
Your not alone in this fight. The poison pill ex, the completely biased "family" court system, the failed education system, and a society that doesn't really give two shits about your years of service...now that you survived it. Gym, nature, patience, persistence, and perseverance....that's what we've got. You're not alone in this fight!
Beautifully written, my friend❤️
Beautiful.
Flawed and fierce love. Hmmm.
Why in the world do you feel compelled to leave ANYTHING to a daughter just because she is your daughter?
She has made her own way.
She has made her choices.
Give it to someone deserving! There are brilliant dedicated humans flailing ariund out there in a mire of systems that would not just be grateful, they might be brilliant, they might benefut from your further wusdom, nay, your tutelage! Move on.
Create your last segment as one spreading your thoughtful methods, your accumulated knowledge. Find the hungry minds. I promise promise promise you...there are so many who could change the world with their intense creativity and desire but have no resources, no family, no mentor.
I know. I was one.
I was “ that” daughter.
Off and on with my dad. And my mom.
In the end I took care of my dad, gratefully. Had my head on his chest for his last breaths.
Helped my mother until she died.
My brother chose not to help either of them.
He’s stuck whether consciously or not, the regrets.
Resentments are a hell one imposes on themselves, hoping to hurt the other.
God Bless EM for not abandoning his daughter.
Interesting that you appear to have abandonment issues and want EM to abandon his daughter like you were. Am I wrong?
As a father and a man. You’ve my respect for you journey. Most, because before their end. You went home.
My gratitude for being there for them both is everything.
All the childhood stuff just disappears into the love I have for them both.
Yes, before they passed. Glory to God.
Thank you EM 💜🙏🏼
You could be close, but only in the sense that we all know people need to earn respect. I had friends who suffered their entire 18years at home. Terrible terrible things that those who are supposed to protect you from such things were committing. I watched childhood friends morph into unrecognizable young adults you could not be . I have 40years of adult friends who destroyed their own lives/marriage/job/home bailing out their "children";out of jail out of financial duress out of abusive relationships giving giving giving "well its my kid".
Since I worked for everything I have, put myself thru college, then bought land and built my own house as a single female alone with no living family, I just don't get it. Its not a relationship--there is no respect,no joy, not even any fellowship. But feels compelled to give her everything that he worked for and everything that means something to him. Aaack. Painful.
Nothing you stated is wrong. It’s also the subtle statement in the poem.